2001-08-10 - 8:51 p.m.
Guest Spot: Remembering I Care

Guest Spot: Remembering I Care

Guest entry by Anonymous:

For a long time I have been apathetic. I stopped caring about things and people around me. I take no great care in my appearance or other's perceptions of me. T-shirts, jeans, and always speaking my mind. I still don't care what others think, but I am starting to care what I think, and I think that is a start.

Today, I went to a local grocery/department store with a friend to look through the shelves and not purchase anything. A favorite time suckage tool of ours while waiting to see a movie. We will scour through the magazine racks, argue about which is the best ice creams, etc. My fondest memories are of Ben & Jerry debates, and buying plastic toys out of quarter machines at the stores exit points. The experience changed a little today.

Looking over the gel pens (a personal obsession), I saw this family of three push past me with a shopping cart. The stereotype of the family would be white trash. The father (?), a skinny male of around 30 years of age, had a buzz cut and acne scarred face. He wore a white stained T-shirt under a black motorcycle jacket. He didn't acknowledge my existence at all as he walked by me. The mother, a heavy set woman around the same age as the man, pushed her small child who was standing in the center of the cart. Her mode of dress complimented that of her boyfriend/brother/husband. She wore a red scrunchy in her stringy blonde hair, and a tank top with some rote cartoon character ironed on the front. The child wore a large T-shirt and a diaper. He had long, fine blond hair parted to one side. His face was dirty.

Something about the child made me stop and look at him. Maybe it was my alarm at his standing in the cart, but I can't say that for certain. All I know is that the child saw me and gave me the sweetest smile I have ever seen! It broke my heart, because it was so genuine and so beautiful. I, in an instant, wanted all the best for this child. I could however only give him my best smile in return. I hoped that it would not seem forced or uneasy and would delight him as much as his smile had delighted me.

Quickly enough they, the family, ambled off into another aisle. I stood in the stationery aisle for a moment and thought about how big the impression was that child had just made on me. Was it merely an Oxytocin release in my brain, or had the child reached me on some long forgotten, or rather walled off, level. I am dumbstruck by the sheer power of the experience. I can't seem to get the brief encounter out of my mind, and at this point in time, I don't think I want to.

Tonight, I hope the little fellow is safe and warm. I hope that his parents love him with all their hearts and do everything they possibly can for him. I hope that he remains as sweet as that smile.

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