A WAY OUT OF THE HOMOSEXUAL STRUGGLE?At some point, the existence of the "ex-gay" movement is something that most lesbian and gay people have been challenged with. For most, the fundamentalist religious source of this peculiar phenomenon is sufficient to dismiss it outright. For some, however, the prospect of a more spiritual life aided by a transformation in one's sexual orientation has proved a tempting option. Because gay and lesbian people have the added issues uniquely related to our orientation, on top of the universal problems everyone else faces, the question has undoubtedly arisen for many of us: "If I could change, would I?"
The "ex-gay" movement appears to be, upon a cursory glance, made up of loving, harmless people who desire to become heterosexual through a close personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Through mutual support and a deepening spiritual experience, ex-gay leaders proclaim that the shift from homosexuality to heterosexuality is both complete and irreversible. Ex-gay groups, such as The Narrow Way and Homosexuals Anonymous, advertise in newspapers that there is a way out of the homosexual struggle. Politicians have cited the existence (and success) of these groups as proof of a "cure" for this "disease" of the soul. Some mainstream clergy people are involved in the movement, and deflect and obstruct gay and lesbian liberation efforts in the churches by waving the ex-gay flag as a panacea to the homosexual question.
Some lesbian and gay people are initially surprised by the seemingly non-condemnatory tone of the ex-gay message. The theory behind this program is based on a recognition that homosexuality does exist, and that this sinful lifestyle and behaviour seems to be beyond the control of the unfortunate, afflicted homosexual. Borrowing the conceptual framework of the twelve-step perspective, the ex-gay movement promotes a process that is ostensibly both psychologically healthy and spiritually sound.
The Biblical basis for the theological and secular taboo concerning homosexuality is at best questionable. Many modern religious scholars have concluded that the specific passages in the Bible can be explained in terms of their historical context. The maxim that the Bible condemns homosexuals or homosexuality outright has been ridiculed and exposed as theologically wobbly.
The psychological evidence for conversion from homosexual to heterosexual orientation is even less convincing. Several studies have illustrated the dismal chance of a long-term, holistic transformation, and no credible psychologist backs up the claims of the fundamentalist ex-gay leadership.
Even setting aside the biblical and psychological weaknesses, close scrutiny of the ex-gay movement reveals many germane facts. First of all, it is significant to acknowledge the flourishing membership of the "ex-ex-gay" movement--lesbian and gay people disenchanted with the hollow promises of Homosexuals Anonymous and similar organizations.
All of the early ex-gay movement leaders who claimed to be personally "ex-gay" have now dropped out: Guy Charles of LIBERATION in Jesus Christ, Roger Grindstaff of Disciples Only, John Evans of Love in Action, Jim Kasper and Mike Bussee of EXIT of Melodyland, Greg Reid of EAGLE, Rick Notch of Open Door, and many others. Alan Mediger, executive director of EXODUS (the ex-gay umbrella organization) acknowledges that "his group has had problems with ministry leaders who return to a gay lifestyle". This exodus of ex-gay leaders does not prevent some Christian publishers from continuing to publicize these people's previous testimonies of conversion.
In 1976, a fundamentalist Christian psychotherapist, Dr. Ralph Blair, founded Evangelicals Concerned, a group that promotes monogamous relationships between Christian homosexuals. The arch-critic and watchdog of the ex-gay movement, the Manhattan-based psychologist's criticisms are absolute and unyielding. After ten years of existence, Blair challenges, the ex-gay movement ought to have legions of people whom it has helped. "Who are these 'lots of people' that have made it? Where are they?" Evangelicals Concerned takes flak from both sides: to much of the New York gay community his opposition to promiscuity and his dogged determination to remain evangelical are anathema.
Now an "ex-ex-gay", John's 1974 testimony appeared under the fictitious name of "Ted" in a book by Kent Philpot, The Third Sex? He was a charter member of a group called Love In Action, organized the year before. The group promoted the traditional Christian condemnation of homosexuality, and encouraged gay people to reject their lifestyle. Looking back, he acknowledges that he and the other leaders "all battled with our own homosexual feelings but claimed to be 'ex-gay' by faith and waited for the day when it would become a reality." John happened upon a pamphlet written by Dr. Blair, "An Evangelical Looks At Homosexuality", which opened up the door for the healthy process of self-acceptance, combined with the realization that "it was not my sexual orientation that matters, but being guided by the Holy Spirit, whatever my sexual preference. I am a homosexual but most importantly I am a Child of God. I did not choose my homosexuality just as I did not choose the colour of my hair or my eyes. Instead of conforming to the conclusion and opinions of others, I must present myself, including my homosexuality to God and allow the Holy Spirit to direct my life."
Abandoned by the once "ex-gay" leadership, almost en masse, the movement today is led by fundamentalist heterosexuals desperate to believe the ex-gay message. (Examples: Leanna Payne, Robbi Kenney of Outpost, and Ron Highley of L.I.F.E.)
The so-called "ex-gay" people who continue to lead the movement still struggle with the conflict between their desire to purge themselves of homosexuality and their deep-felt need for same-sex relationships of some sort. Andy Comiskey, founder of the "ex-gay" Desert Stream asks in its newsletter: "How do we [ex-gays] sort out sinful desires from legitimate needs for same-sex friendships? Perhaps we're fearful of falling hopelessly in love with another of the same sex. We detach ourselves. On the other hand we can rush unwisely into friendship and find ourselves enmeshed in an emotional and sexual death grip."
Comiskey's concerns have been a constant battle in the movement, where the biggest worry at every ex-gay convention is over how many "ex-gays" will "fall" during the convention. As ex-ex-gay leader Rick Notch puts it: "You pick a prayer partner the first night of the convention, you pray with him the second night, and by the third night your prayers are answered." Ex-gay leader Don Baker acknowledges in Beyond Rejection: The Church, Homosexuality and Hope that even after a prescribed Bible-memorization program, "deliverance from homosexuality is a slow, agonizing process with the ever-present fear of falling at any time" into protracted homosexual behaviour.
The most sensational of a cluster of scandals involving "ex-gay" leaders came to light in 1986, when Homosexuals Anonymous leader Colin Cook was ousted for having sex with male counselees over the previous six years of his ministry. Evidence was provided by fourteen young men who complained of sexual pressure from Cook during counselling sessions. The fallen Cook lost his vast ministry in disgrace, and has since made an inane, Swaggartesque attempt to rebuild his following, claiming "I have gotten back up again, in possession of a deeper level of healing than I have ever known, and with new inner boundaries. I am going back to counselling now with the sound checks and balances of supervision…[I] would simply like to put the past behind me and forget it."
In the face of a dissipating, scandal-ridden leadership, and with no real witnesses to back up grandiose conversion claims, the "ex-gay" movement has redefined its goals. Heterosexual ex-gay leader Robbi Kenney has issued the following mandate to other leaders: "Know what you are offering…You are NOT offering heterosexuality [but] the power to come into celibacy." She even cautioned the leadership to "avoid calling them ex-gays".
In 1986, leaders of several "ex-gay" groups (Love in Action, Homosexuals Anonymous, L.I.F.E. Ministries and Mount Hope) conducted a winter conference in New York. They repeatedly stressed that the "ex-gay" promise was not one of change from homosexual to heterosexual orientation, but rather one of celibacy or heterosexual marriage.
As with the larger fundamentalist Christian movement, the "ex-gay" movement could be whimsically dismissed were it not for the tragic consequences of this ineffectual charade. Biblical moralists and guilt-ridden erotophobes have concocted an unattainable, simplistic pipe dream as their version of the truth for gay and lesbian people. Those of us who, for whatever personal reasons, fall prey to this unenlightened moralism forfeit rewarding intimacy for the self-abuse of isolated and enforced celibacy.
The plight of the "ex-gay" movement epitomizes the risks we take in defining our spiritual lives without that vital fusion with the wonderfully mysterious part of ourselves that is sexual. Anything less is more equivocation than enlightenment.
