2001-01-29 - 17:17:28
I Love How Queer I'm Becoming

I Love How Queer I'm Becoming

Intimate And Interactive

If you haven't been following the discussion about gay assimilation and radical queerness which Tim was facilitating on his journal, go check that out. I have suggested to Tim that we continue this important discussion by reading and responding to Michael Warner's anti-assimilationist tract The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life together.

Here's an excerpt from the introduction:

This book rises from the abstract to the concrete. It opens with general questions of ethics and moves to very local politics. In the later chapters, when it gets down to business, so to speak, it makes arguments that many will view as extremist, if not insane. For example, I argue that marriage is unethical. At a time when the largest gay organizations are pushing for same-sex marriage, I argue that this strategy is a mistake and that it represents a widespread loss of vision in the movement. In the fourth chapter, I go so far as to offer a principled defense of pornography, sex businesses, and sex outside the home.

Partly in order to convince the reader that I am not simply unhinged, I begin the book on a rather different note. The first chapter lays out a set of ethical principles that I take to be fundamental to political disputes around sex. It sets out an ideal of sexual autonomy and tries to imagine the conditions under which that ideal could be met. It points to a number of ways that the politics of sexual shame makes that ideal impossible for variant sexualities. And it suggests that queer culture has long cultivated an alternative ethical culture that is almost never recognized by mainstream moralists as anything of the kind. I believe that the ethical insights of this sexual culture provide the best explanation of the political controversies that I later address in subsequent chapters: first, the increasingly popular call for gay people to see themselves as normal Americans; then, the campaign for same-sex marriage that has been the principle rallying point of the normalizing movement; followed by a chapter on the local politics of sex in New York City, where I live.

Warner--an English professor who writes in an unusually readable style compared to most academics--articulates a radically queer view of sexuality and community; methinks a collaborative discussion of his ideas, how they do or do not intersect with our own experiences and needs, would be fascinating. (Matt has also recently written a powerful entry related to this book.) I anticipate that Tim and I will begin reading and writing about The Trouble With Normal in about a month's time, so I extend an open invitation to anyone else to participate.

Curious Virgin

Remember that local email list for gay male hook-ups I belong to? Another interesting post came in the other day, re-lined "exploring new things": Hi there I'm a 22 year guy looking to be with a guy for the first time. I would like to meet a guy that is 35-45 of age and is well experience in this field. Respond with brief desciption of yourself including how big your tool is to my email account directly. Pic will get the fastest response.

Surprise, surprise; I cyber-lunged at the young virgin, providing the requisite images and measurements, happy I'd recently snuck into his desired age bracket. Terry and I have been exchanging increasingly interesting emails all weekend. He doesn't have a scanned pic, so I've made it clear I won't know whether I'm attracted or not until we meet. But this potential defloration initiative sounds mighty intriguing so far. Here's some excerpts from yesterday's cyber-dialogue:

TERRY: well what were you interested in doing? I have no experience what so ever. So please give me some details.

QS: I am extremely spontaneous, so whatever feels right for both of us is probably fine with me. In other words, I wouldn't be approaching the situation with a rigid, set agenda. Things I like: kissing, sucking dick, tonguing bodies from head to toe, jerking off together, rimming, spanking, fucking, getting fucked. Given your lack of experience, I believe you will find me to be a patient, understanding sexual partner. I would not coerce you into any particular sexual act that you didn't feel comfortable with. It would be an experiment, an exploration.

TERRY: sounds okay but just looking for some discreet encounters and not any relationship. Wanting only massages,j/o and bj. No fucking. Is that okay with you.

QS: Massages? Did you say massages? :) I **love** giving massages, and am a natural talent in that department. :) And the other things you've mentioned an interest in, as well as what you are NOT interested in; that's all totally cool with me. I am not looking for a romantic relationship, either. Always open to an easy-going, hassle-free friendship alongside some good sex. But no I am not hunting for a boyfriend right now, so don't worry about that. This is sounding better all the time, eh?

Indeed.

Radical Squeeze

There were two men in the campus sauna yesterday when I arrived: a slightly pudgey, cute young blonde guy and a 50-something skinny guy. Carrying on a naked conversation about weight loss and wrestling. I shed my towel, plunked down on the lower bench, admired Blondie's fat uncut dick lollygagging there. It played peek-a-boo with me; one minute his palms would cup that dangling sausage, the next he would stretch his arms out behind his head. I was mesmerized.

Then another guy trundled in, made his way to the far side across from me. He looked familiar. Oh, I thought, it might be him--the guy I jerked off with a few days ago. Couldn't be sure.

Then the other two gents departed; it was just him and I. He sat there, hairy, sweaty and naked, eyeing me inscrutably.

"Hey," I said, "How's it going?"

It was going okay, I learned. I said, "So, um, you look familiar. I believe we've, um, met recently?" Smiled at him.

He grinned, said yes we had. I struck up a friendly conversation, asked him if he was a student here at university. No, he said, he was a grade school teacher. Interesting.

We began to talk about teaching. Uncut Blondie returned to the sauna. He sat down with that big floppy sausage and joined in our conversation, mentioned that his girlfriend was a teacher. I grew excited by the politics of this friendly conversation; I wanted to exclaim to Blondie, "Hey, this queer and I jerked off together last week, sitting right here, and now we are chatting, and now you with your lovely big dick are joining in. Do you have any idea how radical this is?"

Teacher and Blondie and I continued to chat away. Then Teacher wandered off; I too was getting hot so I made my exit. "Take care, eh?" I said to Blondie, taking one last eye-drink of his luscious appendage.

Towelling off after my shower, I noticed Blondie in the other shower room, soaping up that copious dangle, staring at me curiously. Then I sauntered back to my locker, walked by Teacher, still buck-naked, underneath the hair dryer. His dick spasmed as I walked by, inches from his inches. "Have yourself a great day, mister," I said.

"You too," Teacher replied.

No doubt I'll bump into Teacher again in the sauna. I predict that we'll continue to chat, that we'll jerk off again together, sometime. I also might just ask him for coffee one day.

Bodies create queer space, make it so fucking hot. Words can be a turn-off, but words too might wring possibilities from our lusty sweat.

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